DREAM
BERNICE

Bernice Ng (@bxbyqueen), Content Creator
Bernice Ng, is an aspiring fashion entrepreneur, finding her niche in fashion journalism and photography. She wishes to create an environment where creativity is uncensored and free-flowing. She is also an OnlyFans creator, where she can be herself and say what she wants without any inhibitions. The platform serves as an outlet for Bernice to escape while her performances let her embody her identity unapologetically.
Written by Nikita Yusman, Sophie Tan & Vrinda Maheshwari
Photography by Chermaine Cheong

What you look like from the outside is not a reflection of who you are on the inside, these are mutually exclusive but are linked to one another.

My actions, cues, dialogues and my dress are influenced by who I am as an individual

Platforms like OnlyFans are safe spaces where there is no judgement and is a very understanding environment

The performances put up on this platform are sometimes so thought-provoking and beautiful, that you could just sink into it and get lost. Such a feat is so magical and phantasmagoric.

What identity do you embody when you are on an OnlyFans platform?

When it comes to the OnlyFans side of my identity and the sexuality, power and gravity behind it, I choose to put forth a dominant persona as it is just the platform for it. In my daily life, most of the people that interact with me can always say that I am not a pushover and very strong-willed kind of person. Therefore, these aspects of my personality lends itself to whatever I do on Onlyfans. Since it is part of my personality from the beginning it helps to shape my identity of Onlyfans freely. The person I am on Onlyfans is like a caricature of myself, slightly over-the-top.

Has OnlyFans assisted you in exploring and/or coming closer to your ‘true’ identity?

I think when you are a participant on Onlyfans, you have to be secure and sure of who you embody when performing sex work. If people are not comfortable with their sensuality and sexuality it is very difficult to perform on OnlyFans. The misconception that it is easy money and all they have to do is get naked is shattered once it comes down to the performance, as they don’t want viewers to see their face, and as they continue with the process they realise they are not comfortable with themselves. I don’t think OnlyFans has assisted me with finding my true identity but rather amplifying it as. Platforms like OnlyFans are safe spaces where there is no judgement and is a very understanding environment.

On her relationship between her identity as an individual and her cultural identity

Identity is a weird concept, it’s always changing. With every waking moment, we discover and experience something new about ourselves which adds to our identity. Previously, I was more certain of myself since I hardly gave much thought to ‘who I am’. For a long time, I was complacent with who I was, but through the journey of life, you begin to question the very essence of who you are and how you came about to be as an individual.

I spent 2.5 years abroad, which made me question my identity as I was a minority in London, as opposed to when I'm in Singapore. Hence, I had to prove my ’Singaporean-ness’ which I never had to, here being a majority in Singapore. This prompted me to begin to ponder on what it meant to be Singaporean, what it meant to be Chinese, what visual signifiers aid my identity.

If you were to choose a character or a personality that best describes your identity, what would it be and why?

Visually, I’m very attracted to Jessica Rabbit but I don’t know who influences me personality wise as it depends on who you are interacting with and the social surroundings you’re in. The different parts of you do not have to be linked to each other. I can recognise so many personas inside me that are not related to each other, and hence it is so hard for me to really condense who I am as a person and to find a fictional character that I relate too. When I can relate to one aspect of the fictional character, there is another part of my personality that doesn’t relate to said character.

Our supplement is centred around the theme of Phantasmagoria, blurring the lines between reality and illusion, do you view OnlyFans as a channel to exit reality?

I would say yes. For me, OnlyFans does provide an escape from reality, because I can be who I want. Through my performance, my viewers seek a form of escapism. Partakers on OnlyFans let their personality bleed into their character on this platform. Such performances can be pretty hard to differentiate between what is real and what is not. They seem to embody a whole lifestyle and this is very surreal. Hiding behind the digital screen, the viewers really do begin to wonder who the performer is, if what they’re doing is just a show or an extension of who they are in actuality. In this monotonous and mundane world, viewers get a chance to escape using OnlyFans and they really sink into it.

In this modern day, many people have a place where they can be themselves without being concerned about any judgements, for you which place would it be?

The only place we can be completely free of external judgement is when you are completely alone. When we use the word ‘judgement’, it usually has a very negative and condescending connotation to it. Judging on its own is neither negative or positive. Thus, in order to be not judged positively or negatively, the only place this can happen is when we are all alone. Being alone provides every individual a refuge from such a cruel reality.

DREAM

BERNICE

Bernice Ng (@bxbyqueen), Content Creator
Bernice Ng, is an aspiring fashion entrepreneur, finding her niche in fashion journalism and photography. She wishes to create an environment where creativity is uncensored and free-flowing. She is also an OnlyFans creator, where she can be herself and say what she wants without any inhibitions. The platform serves as an outlet for Bernice to escape while her performances let her embody her identity unapologetically.

Written by Nikita Yusman, Sophie Tan & Vrinda Maheshwari
Photography by Chermaine Cheong

What you look like from the outside is not a reflection of who you are on the inside, these are mutually exclusive but are linked to one another.

My actions, cues,dialogues and my dress are influenced by who I am as an individual

Platforms like OnlyFans are safe spaces where there is no judgement and is a very understanding environment

The performances put up on this platform are sometimes so thought-provoking and beautiful, that you could just sink into it and get lost. Such a feat is so magical and phantasmagoric.

What identity do you embody when you are on an OnlyFans platform?

When it comes to the OnlyFans side of my identity and the sexuality, power and gravity behind it, I choose to put forth a dominant persona as it is just the platform for it. In my daily life, most of the people that interact with me can always say that I am not a pushover and very strong-willed kind of person. Therefore, these aspects of my personality lends itself to whatever I do on Onlyfans. Since it is part of my personality from the beginning it helps to shape my identity of Onlyfans freely. The person I am on Onlyfans is like a caricature of myself, slightly over-the-top.

Has OnlyFans assisted you in exploring and/or coming closer to your ‘true’ identity?

I think when you are a participant on Onlyfans, you have to be secure and sure of who you embody when performing sex work. If people are not comfortable with their sensuality and sexuality it is very difficult to perform on OnlyFans. The misconception that it is easy money and all they have to do is get naked is shattered once it comes down to the performance, as they don’t want viewers to see their face, and as they continue with the process they realise they are not comfortable with themselves. I don’t think OnlyFans has assisted me with finding my true identity but rather amplifying it as. Platforms like OnlyFans are safe spaces where there is no judgement and is a very understanding environment.

On her relationship between her identity as an individual and her cultural identity

Identity is a weird concept, it’s always changing. With every waking moment, we discover and experience something new about ourselves which adds to our identity. Previously, I was more certain of myself since I hardly gave much thought to ‘who I am’. For a long time, I was complacent with who I was, but through the journey of life, you begin to question the very essence of who you are and how you came about to be as an individual.

I spent 2.5 years abroad, which made me question my identity as I was a minority in London, as opposed to when I'm in Singapore. Hence, I had to prove my ’Singaporean-ness’ which I never had to, here being a majority in Singapore. This prompted me to begin to ponder on what it meant to be Singaporean, what it meant to be Chinese, what visual signifiers aid my identity.

If you were to choose a character or a personality that best describes your identity, what would it be and why?

Visually, I’m very attracted to Jessica Rabbit but I don’t know who influences me personality wise as it depends on who you are interacting with and the social surroundings you’re in. The different parts of you do not have to be linked to each other. I can recognise so many personas inside me that are not related to each other, and hence it is so hard for me to really condense who I am as a person and to find a fictional character that I relate too. When I can relate to one aspect of the fictional character, there is another part of my personality that doesn’t relate to said character.

Our supplement is centred around the theme of Phantasmagoria, blurring the lines between reality and illusion, do you view OnlyFans as a channel to exit reality?

I would say yes. For me, OnlyFans does provide an escape from reality, because I can be who I want. Through my performance, my viewers seek a form of escapism. Partakers on OnlyFans let their personality bleed into their character on this platform. Such performances can be pretty hard to differentiate between what is real and what is not. They seem to embody a whole lifestyle and this is very surreal. Hiding behind the digital screen, the viewers really do begin to wonder who the performer is, if what they’re doing is just a show or an extension of who they are in actuality. In this monotonous and mundane world, viewers get a chance to escape using OnlyFans and they really sink into it.

In this modern day, many people have a place where they can be themselves without being concerned about any judgements, for you which place would it be?

The only place we can be completely free of external judgement is when you are completely alone. When we use the word ‘judgement’, it usually has a very negative and condescending connotation to it. Judging on its own is neither negative or positive. Thus, in order to be not judged positively or negatively, the only place this can happen is when we are all alone. Being alone provides every individual a refuge from such a cruel reality.